Guillotine
by oxide-insanity
Summary: Yusuke and friends get bored in French class and decide to build a guillotine! There will be major Tea bashing, Tea dies, and there are other problems. There is also a little bit of yaoi, if you don't like it don't hurt us. Read to find out
1. Trees

Disclaimer- we do NOT own Yu Yu Hakusho!  
Hiei's fiancée- She is right WE don't own YYH but I do   
Going Insane- She only wishes she did! Someone, please help me!  
Hiei's fiancée- I do so own it and Hiei loves me very much   
Going Insane- To sum it up, if we did own it, Hiei would already be  
married. (Guess who to)  
Hiei's fiancée- Yes and when he is off in Makai I would have a life size  
cardboard cutout of him with no shirt on, on one knee, with a really big  
diamond ring saying "I love you"  
Going Insane- once more, PLEASE help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
In case you hadn't notice- we are two different authors, not just one  
person with a split personality.  
Please note that this is not Kurama bashing because we love Kurama he  
is just extremely happy   
Also little bit of Yaoi so if you don't like it, either don't read it or  
close your eyes on those parts. Don't flame us for it! Note: Keiko has been  
drinking Mountain Dew, Livewire. You have been warned!   
Time to start the fic!  
Chapter one- Trees  
It is a bright, happy, spring day. Kurama and Hiei are sitting in a  
tree outside of Sarayashiki Jr. High. Yusuke, happening to look up sees  
Hiei and Kurama.  
Yusuke: Kurama, Hiei, what are you two doing here?  
Kurama: I wanted Hiei to experience school!   
Yusuke: But you don't even go to this school! oO  
Kurama: I know!   
You aren't mad at me are you Hiei?  
Puppy dog eyes  
Hiei: Hn  
Kurama lightly kisses Hiei  
Kurama: That better?  
Hiei: Hn  
Kurama: In that case, time to make it all better!   
Hiei and Kurama start madly making out  
Yusuke: 00 guys, this is a learning environment!  
Kurama: What? We're studying!  
Hiei: Yes, the inside of each other's mouths.  
Kurama:   
Yusuke: I didn't need to hear that!  
Yusuke has fingers in ears, la la la la la laaaaaaaa  
Keiko walks up  
Keiko: Yusuke what are you doing?  
Yusuke: Nothing.  
Keiko looks up  
Keiko: I don't really want to know do I?  
Yusuke: They're "studying."  
Keiko: Stop right there!  
You guys better hurry or you are going to be late.   
Yusuke: Oh no, I can't be late!  
Kurama: I can't be late! I am the perfect student! Everyone worships me!  
Hiei pushes Kurama. Kurama almost falls out of tree  
Kurama: What was that for?!  
Hiei: You deserved it you stupid kitsune.  
Kurama: I'm sorry Hiei.  
Hiei and Kurama start madly making out. Again  
Yusuke: You know I think I will break my rule just this once, and be on  
time.  
You guys were going to be late!  
Kurama immediately jumps down from the tree  
Hiei: Hn  
Hiei jumps down after him. Keiko laughs and walks away  
Hiei: Where are we going anyways?  
Yusuke: French.  
Kurama: Ah French, the language of love!   
Yusuke: Isn't that Italian?  
Hiei: Hn, who cares.  
They all walk "merrily" off to French class.  
  
A/N- YAY!!!!!!!! We finished chapter one! Please review. And be nice, it's  
our first fic.  
sniffs 


	2. French Class

Disclaimer- once again, in case you didn't have fun reading the first one.  
(  
We do NOT own YYH!  
Hiei's fiancée- don't rub it in ;; (  
Going Insane- Anyways, back to the fic.   
  
Chapter Two- French Class  
It is still a bright, happy, spring, day! Although somewhat unnoticeable  
inside.  
Hiei: Remind me again why I'm here?  
Kurama: Because! You had no childhood!   
Yusuke: Why are you so happy, it's Monday?  
Kurama: I don't know!   
Hiei kisses Kurama  
Hiei: Does that have anything to do with it?  
Kurama: Probably!   
(Surprisingly, Hiei and Kurama do NOT start making out, as we actually want  
this story to progress.... Gomen)  
Yusuke rolls his eyes. They walk into the classroom and go sit by Keiko,  
just as the bell rings  
Kurama: Yes! Made it!   
Yusuke: Oh, shut up!  
Yusuke smacks Kurama  
Kurama: Ow!   
Yusuke and Kurama start fighting just as the French teacher (whose name is  
not worth remembering) walks in  
French Teacher: All right boys and girls, settle down now.  
Kurama: ok!   
Yusuke: XX  
French Teacher: Ok class, today we're going to be learning about the  
guillotine.  
Kuwabara suddenly appears out of nowhere  
Kuwabara: What's a guillotine?  
Hiei: We don't know, which is why she is going to tell us, no baka!  
Kuwabara suddenly disappears  
French Teacher: The guillotine was used mainly during the French Revolution  
by the peasants to chop of the heads of the aristocrats, blah blah blah.  
Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke all look at each other. (Dun Dun Dummm)  
Keiko: If you guys build a guillotine, would you mind chopping off  
Kuwabara's head first?   
Hiei: I'm not sure he will be first, but I will personally see to it.   
Keiko: Oh Hiei you're so nice!   
Keiko hugs Hiei  
Yusuke and Kurama: Grrr!  
A/N- Please excuse any wrong info. We were on sugar highs while doing this,  
can you tell?(  
Hiei's fiancée- I don't even take French so blame her!  
Going Insane- not All my fault!  
And now for the usual begging, PLEASE review. It makes us feel special,  
especially if you're NICE! 


	3. To Build a Guillotine

Disclaimer- And, yet again, just in case you didn't read the first  
TWO! We don't own YYH.  
Hiei's fiancée- sniffs and starts crying  
Going Insane- get over it.   
Chapter Three- To Build A Guillotine  
And yet again, it is still a bright, happy, and all that other junk, day.  
The French Teacher (Whose name is still not worth remembering) has been  
lured to the faculty room, by a mysterious figure dressed in black. Who  
also happens to be Keiko, but we don't know that, and tied up with the  
school cafeteria's baguettes.  
Mysterious Figure in Black (Keiko): In here French Teacher, follow the  
trail of bread!  
French Teacher: Bread!   
Keiko grabs teacher and ties him with bread, before running back to class,  
where Hiei is sitting on the teacher's desk, katana unsheathed. He is  
directing the rest of the class in helping Kurama and Yusuke build a  
guillotine  
Hiei: Work you stupid Ningens!   
Keiko walks in  
Keiko: You know Hiei, slavery isn't very ethical! And I'm a human too.  
Hiei: What the hell does ethical mean?  
Keiko: Oh, never mind!  
Yusuke: Hey Keiko! The guillotine should be done by lunch!   
Some Child in Class: Mr. Slave master Sir, I have to go to the bathroom.  
(Fully intending to run down to the office screaming bloody murder as soon  
as released)  
Hiei: Do you have a Hall Pass?   
Kurama: Oh, let the poor kid go. If you do I'll make it up to you later.   
  
Hiei: 0.0 Fine, but if you don't come back I'll hunt you down!  
Hiei holds up katana  
Same Child in Class: oO I'll come back I swear!  
Child runs down hall screaming  
Hiei: Kurama, how long until the guillotine is done?  
Kurama: Just a few more minutes!   
Hiei: Let them come! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!  
Kurama: Hiei...  
Hiei: Yes?  
Kurama: ...you look so cute when you're being evil!   
Hiei:   
Kurama rushes at Hiei, with intent to start making out with him again.  
Yusuke stops him  
Kurama: That wasn't very nice Yusuke!  
Yusuke: We don't want our slave driver distracted!  
Kurama: I guess.  
Hiei: Grrr!!  
Keiko, who had followed the kid down to the office walks back into the  
classroom  
Keiko: You guys better be done because I'd say we have about five more  
minutes until the teachers come down here. They were calling the cops when  
I left!  
Hiei: I'll be right back.  
Kurama: Where are you going?  
Hiei: Someone hasn't come back from his bathroom break yet.  
Yusuke: Don't take too long! We just finished!   
French Teacher walks in  
French Teacher: What are you guys doing?!  
Keiko: Wait, how did you escape?  
French Teacher: I ate my way through. Duh!  
Keiko: Doh! . I knew I should have used jump ropes!  
Wait, they have more baguettes back there!  
French Teacher: Baguettes!   
French Teacher runs to back of room  
Yusuke: Just stick your head right in there.   
Yusuke drops guillotine blade. Head rolls off  
Kurama: Yay! It works!   
Keiko: I hope Hiei won't be upset he missed it.  
Hiei walks in dragging the boy, who didn't come back from his bathroom  
break, by the hair  
Hiei: What's all the yelling about?  
Kurama: The guillotine works Hiei!   
Hiei: You mean I missed it. Sniffs  
Kurama: It's ok Hiei you can cry on my shoulder!   
Hiei: I'm not crying you stupid kitsune!  
Kurama: TT  
Yusuke: I can't believe it! Would you two just shut up!  
Hiei and Kurama start kissing just to annoy Yusuke  
Keiko: The teachers are coming, the teachers are coming!!  
Some Other Random Kid: We're saved!  
Hiei: Shut up.  
Keiko: Hiei, I know you don't know what ethical means, but do you know what  
nice means??  
Hiei glares at Keiko  
Kurama: It's ok Hiei!   
Kurama leans down to kiss Hiei, an inch away from Hiei's lips, Yusuke  
grabs Kurama  
Yusuke: That is it! NO MORE KISSING YOU TWO!!  
Hiei: Yes, mother dearest.  
Pounding heard on door  
Keiko: Oh goody, they're here!   
A/N- Please, don't be afraid of us! We're not strange, just disturbed!   
If these, , are starting to annoy you, sorry!   
Hiei's fiancée- Small colored marshmallows are good! (  
Going Insane- you should know, you've been eating them for the last half  
hour!  
Hiei's fiancée- I know (  
Next chapter, enjoy! 


	4. Tellytubies and Sisters

Disclaimer- Called fanfiction.net for a reason people, it means we don't  
own the characters we write about! (in case you haven't gotten the picture  
yet ) Note: we also do not own the tellytubbies, thank you.  
Going Insane- Hiei's fiancée has now moved on to chips, from the little  
colored marshmallows.   
Hiei's fiancée- I do support the idea of Tinky Winky being gay. You go  
Tinky Winky!   
Going Insane- No comment  
Chapter Four- Tellytubbies and Sisters  
It is still bright and happy outside, however inside, there is a very long  
line leading to the French room.  
Kuwabara: why is this line so long? And why am I the only student in it?  
Why are all the people going in not coming out? Why are there screams of  
terror then absolute silence? Oh, well must be very good baguettes.   
As the line creeps closer to the classroom, Kuwabara starts humming some  
obnoxious tune  
Hiei: What is that obnoxious song?  
Yusuke: It sounds like the Tellytubbies theme song!  
Keiko: (wearing an executioner's uniform, hood and all) It's annoying me  
too, why don't you go give them some special treatment.   
Kurama: Yes, please.  
Hiei: It will be a pleasure!   
Yusuke: Wait!  
Hiei: Yes?  
Yusuke: Give me your katana!  
Hiei: No.  
Yusuke: but somebody has to control them while you're gone.  
Yusuke points at group of terrified students  
Hiei: Fine!  
Hiei walks out of the classroom, and down the hall, listening for  
Tellytubbies  
Hiei: (With extremely bad acting) Kuwabara, what are you doing here?!  
Kuwabara: Hn, it's the runt.  
Hiei: (somehow managing not to smack Kuwabara) Because I'm feeling generous  
today, I'll let you go ahead in line. Yukina is in there making bageuttes.  
Kuwabara: Yukina!   
Kuwabara runs off into the room, followed by Hiei, who doesn't want to  
miss this  
Hiei: Finnally! I'm free of the idiot! Mwahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!  
Kuwabara: What was that Hiei?  
Hiei: Nothing! Better hurry Yukina is waiting for you!   
Kuwabara bursts into the room, and is immediately jumped on by Yusuke and  
Kurama  
Kuwabara: What are you guys doing?! Stop it!  
Kurama: We are going to tie you up and gag you, then carry you over there  
to that guillotine!   
Kuwabara: I don't even know what a guillotine is!  
Kurama: Well, then you should have paid attention in French!   
Kuwabara: But I don't even take French!  
Kurama: Sucks for you!   
Yusuke and Kurama then tie up and gag Kuwabara and carry him over to the  
guillotine  
Yusuke: He weighs a ton!  
Hiei: I always said he was a fat lump!  
Kuwabara: Imm gommna mill moo mater Miei, mwheres Mukina?  
(Translation- I'm gonna kill you later Hiei, where's Yukina?)  
Just as Keiko is going to drop the blade on Kuwabara's head, Yukina walks  
into the room  
Yukina: Hi Hiei, I didn't know you knew how to cook baguettes!   
oO What is Kazuma doing?  
Keiko: (hiding rope behind her back) Nothing! (  
Kuwabara: Melpmph me!  
(Translation- Help Me!)  
Yukina: What was that Kazuma?  
Yukina skips across the room and takes gag off of Kuwabara's mouth  
Kuwabara: Help me, they're trying to cut off my head!  
Yukina puts her hands on her hips and turns to face Hiei  
Yukina: Hiei that wasn't very nice!  
Kurama: We were just playing, honest.  
Hiei: (long line of inaudible swearwords)  
Yukina: What was that Hiei?  
Hiei: I said that I would be glad to untie Kazuma now.  
Hiei, forced smile on his face, walks across the room and unties Kuwabara  
There you go Kazuma sorry if we scared you.  
Kuwabara, completely ignoring Hiei, rushes across the room to Yukina  
Kuwabara: Yukina, you saved me!   
Kuwabara and Yukina start madly making out  
Everyone in room: oO AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! It burns!  
While everyone is staring at Kuwabara and Yukina, Kurama walks to the  
door  
Kurama: Hiei, come with me to the hall.  
Hiei: Why?  
Kurama: You remember that reward?  
Hiei: Yea....  
Kurama: You still want it?  
Hiei walks to door and follows Kurama out  
A/N- he hee hee what will happen next? Please review!!!!!!!! 


	5. Mother Yusuke and Friends

Disclaimer- Yet another one!  
We do not now, nor will we ever own YYH. Don't sue us, we don't have money  
and we are not making any money either. Thanks  
Going Insane- Probably because whenever you do get money you spend it on  
manga!  
Hiei's fiancée- or trading cards, like YYH.   
Going Insane- Yep, she has one of Yusuke and Puu, Puu is a penguin with  
large ears   
Hiei's fiancée- Puu is cute Warning there is Tea bashing in this  
chapter so if you don't like it don't hurt us! There is also implied  
"swearing" in this chapter so once again, don't like it don't read it!  
Going Insane- thank you so much for reviewing our fic, Animegoddess177 and  
Revolutionize the World's End! (  
By the way, what does OMFGROTFLMAO, mean?  
And now to the fic   
Chapter Five- Mother Yusuke and Friends  
We probably don't need to say it, but we will anyways.  
It was still a bright happy spring day outside, and inside too, as Yukina  
had shut down the guillotine. Which everyone, except, Yusuke and Keiko, was  
happy about. Hiei and Kurama didn't know yet as they were still nowhere to  
be found.  
Yusuke: If they're making out....  
Keiko: Oh relax Yusuke! They'll be fine!   
Looking at Kuwabara and Yukina who are still making out  
Yusuke: You know, I think I will go find them anyways.  
Keiko looks at Kuwabara and Yukina too  
Keiko: I think I'll come too.  
Yusuke and Keiko rush out of the room  
Meanwhile....  
Kurama: Well this hall looks as dark and deserted as we're going to get!   
  
Hiei: Whatever.  
Hiei secretly fed up with Kurama for taking so long to find a god damn (or  
if you prefer, gosh darn) hallway  
Kurama: Come on Hiei!   
Kurama and Hiei start madly making out  
Hiei: Wait! I can't do this anymore!  
Kurama: Why not?  
Hiei: I keep seeing images of that baka kissing my sister!  
Kurama: Eww, you're right!  
Kurama and Hiei sit and talk together, suddenly Hiei jumps up  
Hiei: Yusuke still has my katana!  
Kurama stands up more slowly  
Kurama: What was that?  
Hiei: If he doesn't give it back, I will kill him!  
Kurama: Hiei, clam down! It will be ok!  
Hiei, totally not listening, is pacing up and down the hall mumbling  
Hiei: Dragon ought to do it, either that or burn him to a crisp! Yes, burn!  
Kurama: Hiei, I know this probably sounds really weird! But why don't we  
just go ask Yusuke for it back!  
Hiei: Might work.  
Yusuke and Keiko, walking down the hall see them, Yusuke has a flashlight.  
He shines it in their faces  
Yusuke: All right you two, break it up! Keep those hormones under control!  
Kurama: We were just talking.  
Hiei, who had disappeared when Yusuke and Keiko came down the hall,  
suddenly jumped down on Yusuke  
Hiei: Give it! Now!  
Yusuke: Ow, ow! What are you talking about?!  
Hiei: I think you know! It's my precious!  
(Sorry, we know, Lord of the Rings, but we couldn't resist.)  
Kurama: You Know Hiei, you don't look cute like that! And I thought that I  
was your precious! TT  
Hiei: Yea, yea, yea!  
Hiei goes back to fighting with Yusuke, who is still completely clueless  
Yusuke: Oh! I get it!   
Yusuke swings katana up and accidentally hits Hiei on the side of the  
head, Hiei falls over  
Hiei: Ow!  
Kurama rushes over and helps Hiei sit up  
Kurama: Hiei are you ok?!  
Hiei: I'm fine. But my katana! Are you ok precious?  
hugs it like a mother would hug a baby  
Kurama: You know Hiei, if I didn't know any better I'd say you loved that  
sword more than me!  
Hiei: It's not a sword, it's a katana!  
Kurama: Fine!  
Kurama storms down the hall  
Keiko: Well now you've done it Hiei!  
Hiei: Wait I didn't mean it! Come back Kurama!  
Yusuke: (muttering under his breath in a falsetto voice) Come back to me  
Kurama! I need you!  
Hiei punches Yusuke in the stomach, and runs off down the hall after  
Kurama  
As heard from far away:  
Hiei: I'm so sorry Kurama, you are my precious, I love you!  
Kurama: I love you too Hiei!  
Yusuke: I'll be right back, Keiko.  
Keiko: Take your time.  
Meanwhile down the hall:  
Kurama and Hiei are madly making out, neither have their shirts on  
Yusuke: What did I tell you kids! Come on, I want to see you up and  
presentable! With all your clothing ON!  
Hiei stands up and glares at Yusuke  
Hiei: Remember that time I found you and Keiko....  
Yusuke claps his hand over Hiei's mouth  
Hiei: Mmph foomph mwho....  
Tea suddenly drops out of the sky onto Kurama, who is still lying on the  
ground with no shirt on, Hiei turns around  
Hiei: WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON TOP OF MY KITSUNE?! I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED  
TO FK HIM!  
Tea: You know Hiei, that's not very friendly language!   
Yusuke is now rolling on the floor laughing, as Hiei flips Tea off,  
repeatedly  
Kurama: Hiei, I appreciate the fact that you love me, but I'm feeling sort  
of held down right now!  
Hiei walks over and throws Tea of Kurama, Keiko has now walked down the  
hall to see what all the commotion is  
Hiei: WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU ARE A (Please insert own words  
here)!  
Tea: Hiei, I feel that our relationship has some problems. Maybe we should  
try to work them out!   
Hiei draws katana  
Hiei: Oh, I'll work them out!  
Tea: Oh, you're such a silly, little, goosey, woosey! I meant in a  
nonthreatening way! With words and feelings!   
Kurama, Yusuke and Keiko are all, now rolling on the floor laughing  
Hiei: Words and feelings?! OK!   
I hate you! Now for some words: (once again, use your imagination)   
Tea: Hiei, here are some new words to use that start with "F"!   
Friendly, Friendship, Friends...  
Hiei: FREAK! FK! FK YOU!   
Tea: You know Hiei, anger and hate stop the world!   
Everyone looks very confused  
Because Friendship makes the world go round!   
Kurama: (still barely breathing from laughing so hard) I thought that  
Einstein disproved that?!  
Tea: Well, Einstein was just an old phony with a wig!   
Einstein suddenly appears from absolutely nowhere  
Einstein: It's not a wig!  
Einstein disappears again  
Everyone looks very, very confused. Tea however, is still going on about  
friendship, and working out problems in a relationship  
A/N- We don't own Yu Gi Oh either, sorry forgot in the disclaimer. So in  
case you hadn't figured it out Tea (or Anzu, but we like the name Tea  
better) is from Yu Gi Oh!  
Going Insane- Does implying things make the rating go up?  
Hiei's fiancée- Hiei, no shirt on.   
Going Insane- Get over it!  
Hiei's fiancée- Sorry if you think we should have kicked the rating up a  
bit but since we are under 18 it would be pretty stupid. Besides we never  
say anything bad and there are no lemons (Gomen, Gomen)  
Going Insane- If anyone is bugged by our implied use of language spend a  
day in Jr. or High school!   
Hiei's fiancée- Especially if I have a U.S. History project due in 15  
minutes, which is worth half of my grade that I still haven't started.   
Going Insane- I'll testify to that! and she painted her nails the other  
day, now when she flips me off there are two different, pretty colors of  
nail polish to look at! (  
Hiei's fiancée- They are pretty colors aren't they? Pink and green (  
Going Insane- Sorry for babbling so much, hope you like the fic! PLEASE  
REVIEW!!!!!! (If you don't it hurts our feelings () Also, flames are for  
marshmallows, not reviews! 


	6. Tea's Last Wish

Disclaimer- And we still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Yu-Gi-Oh  
Hiei's fiancée- but I wish I did  
Going Insane- although she is trying to gain possession of both shows! (  
Hiei's fiancée- To all anonymous reviewers so sorry if you couldn't review!  
We are still new to this and didn't realize we had the stupid little box  
checked! We love you!  
Going Insane- and we know that five million other anonymous readers wanted  
to review us, because we're sooooo popular!  
Hiei's fiancée- Miki from Revolutionary girl is HOT!! So is Hiei, Kurama,  
Yusuke, Touya (YYH and Ceres), Aki, Jin, Yuhi, Bakura, Ryou, Yami, Malik,  
Kaiba, Recca, Sasuke, Kakashi, Haku (spirited away and naruto) ashitaka,  
tasuki, chichiri, luka, luel, raenef, eclipse ...  
Going Insane- (I just put my hand over her mouth) Please help me! I'm stuck  
in a small room with an obsessive person!  
Hiei's fiancée- Remember, they only tell you you are special before they  
put you in a strait jacket and take you away to a place where you can be  
happy all the time! . Also Tom Felton (Malfoy), Daniel Radcliff (Harry),  
and Rupert Grint (Ron) are all hot too!   
Going Insane, if anyone has any duck tape, please send it to me!  
Hiei's fiancée- TT  
Going Insane- ah, silence! to the fic!  
Chapter Six- Tea's Last Wish  
For the sixth time, it is Bright, Happy, and Sunny outside. However we  
aren't outside, so it's not really relevant. Hiei is about to snap, and  
kill Tea, Kurama, Yusuke, and Keiko are all unable to move from laughter,  
and Yukina and Kuwabara are (hopefully) no longer making out.  
Hiei: What is your problem?! Can't you shut up about friends! I am not your  
friend, nor will I ever be your friend!  
Tea is still smiling  
Tea: Friendship will always win in the end Hiei!   
Hiei: (Forced grin on his face) you're right Tea! Friendship does always  
win! I'm going to show you something that will change your life forever!  
Tea: Do you do this to all your friends?   
Hiei: Only my closest!  
Tea: I knew you'd see it my way!  
Hiei followed by Tea, walks down the hall to the classroom. Kurama, Keiko,  
and Yusuke follow, thankfully Yukina and Kuwabara aren't in the classroom,  
and we hope they aren't off doing things they shouldn't be doing.  
Kurama: Hey Yusuke, shouldn't you go make sure that Kuwabara and Yukina are  
keeping their hormones under control?   
Yusuke: I don't want to see THAT!  
Hiei leads Tea over to the guillotine  
Tea: Hiei, what's that thing?!   
(Tea doesn't know what a guillotine is because her brain is chock full of  
little pink bunnies, dancing, and throwing around red heart-shaped flowers,  
and singing "Let's be friends forever!")  
Hiei: It puts a friendship necklace on your neck!  
(Yusuke and Keiko have conveniently forgotten to tell Hiei and Kurama that  
Yukina has forbidden them use of the guillotine)  
Tea: Are the necklaces part of some sort of friendship initiation?   
Keiko: (looking sickingly happy) YES!! Everyone in our special club has  
them! When you combine two they form hearts! And we're all friends forever!  
  
Tea: But where are all of your necklaces?   
Keiko: They're invisible while separated! To symbolize how our hearts  
aren't complete without friends!   
Tears roll down Tea's face, while behind her back, Hiei, Kurama, and  
Yusuke pretend to barf  
Tea: Will my necklace form a heart with yours Hiei?   
Hiei: (Forced smile) Of course Tea!  
Kurama's face turning red, fists clenched at side  
Let's get that necklace on ya!  
Hiei, frantically making apologetic gestures at Kurama, leads Tea over to  
the guillotine  
Keiko: (Executioners uniform back on) Just stick your head right there!   
Tea: OK! Oh, and after I get my necklace on, we should change that  
boring uniform! It should be pink with hearts!   
Keiko: (forced smile) Hiei, you brought her to the club! Want to do the  
honors?!   
(Is therefore still obeying Yukina's orders and not using the guillotine,  
not to mention that Hiei would kill to get to chop off Tea's head)  
Hiei is shaking with anticipation, "Kuwabara got away, Tea won't!"  
Hiei: (possessed grin on face) Of course!   
Hiei releases rope. Tea's head rolls off, everyone cheers  
The friendship thing is dead at last!!!!!!   
Kurama: Let's burn it!  
Keiko: We can't (looking very depressed) it would set off alarms!  
Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Keiko start dancing around her body, singing the  
munchkin song from the Wizard of Oz  
Kurama: Hiei, do you want to make a heart with me?!  
Yusuke: No kissing!  
Hiei: Can't we celebrate?  
Keiko: (Before Yusuke can answer) OK, just this once!  
Keiko starts making out with Yusuke  
Kurama: Thank you mommy!   
Yukina and Kuwabara walk in, they see Yusuke and Keiko making out and Hiei  
and Kurama making out. Yukina smiles, then sees the headless corpse of  
Tea.  
Yukina: What did I tell you about the guillotine?!  
Hiei: Not to use it to cut Kazuma's head off?  
Yukina: NO! I specifically told you not to use it anymore!  
Kurama: (Raising his hand) Hiei and I weren't here!  
Yukina: Well, where were you then?!  
Kurama: Bathroom!   
Kurama grabs Hiei's arm  
You know, always use a buddy!   
Yusuke: We learned that at Friendship Camp!  
Hiei punches Yusuke, hard  
Ow!  
Yukina: Hiei! I assume YOU had something to do with this!  
Hiei: Maybe...  
five minutes later when Yukina is still glaring at him  
Yusuke and Keiko didn't tell us we couldn't use it!  
Yusuke: He was a mad man I tell you! We couldn't have stopped him even if  
we tried!  
Hiei attacks Yusuke, Yukina starts yelling, however it's really not  
important what she's yelling, as Hiei and Yusuke are yelling louder  
(What they are yelling is rather unimportant, as we want this to stay a PG-  
13 rating()  
Around ten minutes later Yusuke stagers upright  
Yusuke: You see! He's a mad man!  
Hiei grabs Yusuke's ankle, Yusuke falls back and is out cold  
Yukina: (acting like a total little sister) Hiei, I'm telling!  
Hiei: You can't, as "Mother Dear" is out cold.  
Hiei Points at Yusuke, as everyone else tries to hide laughter, Yukina is  
enraged  
Yukina: I meant Lord Koenma! (In an obnoxious sing-song voice) Didn't he  
make a rule that we couldn't fight anymore after Yusuke broke Kazuma's leg  
in three places?!  
Kurama: Wasn't that Hiei?   
Hiei kicks Kurama, we won't mention where  
Yukina: What was that Kurama?  
Kurama: (sounding like he's been sucking helium) Nothing....  
Botan comes through open window on her oar  
Botan: Hi guys! Two things, one: the cops just got here! and two:  
Koenma really wants to talk to you guys, right now!   
Yukina: Ha, I told you guys!  
Kazuma: Oh, man you guys are dead! Poor little runt, I'd hate to be in your  
shoes! Wait they wouldn't fit!  
Kurama is holding back Hiei and looking like he just failed a final  
Hiei, not really caring that he is about to get a huge lecture from  
Koenma, probably more, because he is still trying to get to Kazuma.  
Keiko: (Quickly throwing off the hood on her executioner's uniform) I had  
nothing to do with this!  
Yusuke: XX  
Yukina: Keiko! Don't think you're getting away with this!  
Yukina grabs the hood of Keiko's uniform and drags her over to Botan  
Kurama: (panicked breathing)  
Hiei: Just... a... little... closer.... to Neck.....  
Kuwabara: Poor little runt can't reach me!  
Keiko: it wasn't me! Honest! (Still desperately trying to take off  
executioners uniform, and burn it, to destroy all evidence, while Yukina is  
holding her back)  
Yusuke: XX  
Botan: Is there something going on that I should know about?!  
Kurama manages to drag Hiei, still trying to kill Kuwabara, over to Botan  
Botan: OK that looks like everybody, oh, Kuwabara, will you grab Yusuke!  
Kuwabara: No problem!  
grabs Yusuke's ankle and drags him over to Botan  
Oh dear, his head seems to be hitting desks! Oops, oops, oh darn, Yusuke,  
watch your head!  
Botan's oar extends about seven feet  
Botan: Everybody on!   
Keiko is still trying to escape in the last five seconds before Yukina  
drags her to the oar. Everyone finally climbs on, Yukina is restraining  
Keiko, Kurama is restraining Hiei, and Kuwabara is still stuck with the  
unconscious Yusuke. While traveling through the portal, Kuwabara is just  
out of Hiei's reach.  
Hiei: Little further! Just one little push and all my problems are gone!  
Hiei turns to face Kurama  
Think about it! The friendship thing AND that annoying lump all gone in one  
day!   
Kurama holds Hiei tighter  
Kurama: You can do it Hiei, just a little farther!  
They all walk into the palace at Reikai, some involuntarily, Keiko throws  
herself at Koenma's feet  
Keiko: I'm innocent! I tell you, I had nothing to do with it!  
Koenma: What are you talking about?!  
Keiko: Aren't you going to scold us about the guillotine?  
Koenma: What guillotine?  
Yusuke: (waking up) Exactly! What guillotine?  
Yusuke suddenly looks up and sees who's holding him  
Yusuke: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!  
Kuwabara: Aaah! It moved! (Kuwabara drops Yusuke)  
Yusuke: Ouch!  
Yukina: Kazuma! That wasn't very nice!  
Koenma: (looking very confused)  
Keiko, looking like school has ended three months early and dressed in the  
executioners uniform, is dancing around the room singing the "Hallelujah  
Chorus" Yusuke is still on he floor, Kuwabara is apologizing to Yukina, and  
Kurama is still restraining Hiei  
Don't you want to know why you're here?  
Yusuke: Yea, where is here? (Sits up) oh! Hello Koenma! We're in Reikai!  
Hiei: Yes! Congratulations, you just won a toaster oven!   
Koenma: Anyways! Here is my announcement, I'm getting married! And my  
fiancée will be totally taking over the training and management of the  
Reikai Tantei Team! Come on out dear!   
Keiko: That's great Koenma!  
Everyone else is in a state of shock, the door opens and Koenma's fiancée  
walks into the room  
Hiei: No! No, not you, Anyone but you!!!!  
A/N- Hee, hee hee! Who is Koenma's fiancée? We know but you don't! Don't  
worry we'll try and post the next chapter soon. Also, please excuse any  
wrong YYH related info, in the last bit of this chapter. Hiei's fiancée is  
the obsessive one and I was just finishing the chapter without her, so any  
wrong spellings or info. are my fault, sorry! 


	7. Why Won't You DIE!

Disclaimer- YYH does not belong to us! Or the Wizard of Oz, Or Yu Gi Oh.  
Hiei's fiancée- it is mine! In spirit!  
Going Insane- I get Demon Diary!  
Hiei's fiancée- She is obsessed with Demon Diary, just like I am obsessed  
with YYH. I know you couldn't tell.  
Going Insane- O is for obsessive!   
Hiei's fiancée- The sky is dark purple with a small strip of pinkish purple  
on the bottom  
Going Insane- That was random!  
oh by the by, our fic got removed for unknown reasons;;   
so we're reposting it, and we really did have 6 reviews!   
sorry & thanx for reading!  
To the fic!  
Chapter Seven- Why Won't You DIE!  
Previously- Koenma announces his engagement and told the team that his  
fiancée will be taking over management of Reikai Tantei. Who is this  
mysterious fiancée of Koemna's, who makes Hiei convulse and shudder and  
fall backwards into Kurama's arms? Well read on and find out!  
It is a bright, happy, day! But we aren't in the human world, so once  
again, not really relevant, it's just so you know. In Reikai, Koenma has  
announced his engagement and brought her out to meet everyone, Hiei,  
started screaming, and is now standing on top of Koenma's desk, katana  
drawn.  
Hiei: That is it! You can only die twice before your soul is lost!  
Mwahahahahahhahaha!  
Koenma is looking very confused  
Koenma: Wait! Tea, you know him?  
Tea: Yes! Hiei is one of my best friends!   
(Yes ladies and gentlemen! It is Tea! Why? Because we can!)  
Koenma still looks confused and is starting to hyperventilate  
Hiei: FRIEND!!!!!!!!! I WILL SHOW YOU THE TRUE MEANING OF FRIENSHIP! DIE  
TEA!  
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Tea: Hiei, I don't think you really understand friendship at all.  
Friendship is when.....  
Tea is suddenly cut off, as Hiei stabs her  
Hiei: die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die!!!  
Bwahahahahhahahahahhahahha! Itsdeaditsdeaditsdeaditsdead!   
Hiei is dancing around Tea's corpse, stabbing at it periodically  
Kurama: uh, Hiei? You want to stop; I think you're upsetting Koenma. And  
kind of creeping me out.  
Koenma: ;; Tea? Sweetie? Honey? WELL AREN'T YOU GOING TO  
ANSWER ME?!  
Keiko: oO  
Yusuke is desperately trying to grab Hiei's katana, in order to finish  
Kuwabara off as well. Hiei has started singing the "wicked witch is dead"  
Yukina: (is the first to snap out of it) HIEI!!!!!!!!!  
Koenma: (sobs and rushes over to his desk)  
exactly 2 minutes and 15 and ½ seconds later  
Tea: (jumps up) I'm back! And Hiei I still don't think you understand the  
true meaning of friendship! (Goes off into some very long and lengthy  
lecture)  
Hiei: NO!!!!!!!!! My life's work down the drain! I don't want to live!  
raises katana up as if to stab himself  
Kurama: No Hiei! Don't do it!  
Kuwabara: Finally!   
Yusuke hasn't really noticed, as he is still trying to find a sharp and  
pointy object to use on Kuwabara  
Keiko: oO  
Yukina: oh, quit being overly dramatic Hiei!  
Botan is sitting in a corner, sobbing, why must Tea still live?  
Koenma: This carpet is new, please don't get any more blood on it!  
Tea is still ranting on about friendship  
Kurama: Hiei! It's okay! Breathe, slow, in and out, in and out. (whispers  
into Hiei's ear) don't worry, we'll find some way to kill her.   
Hiei: We will?   
Kurama: You have my word!   
Hiei: Kurama, what would I do without you?!  
Kurama: Probably, never bathe....  
Kurama and Hiei start madly making out  
Koenma: Is that normal???  
Yusuke has decided that Koenma doesn't have any pointy objects and is now  
sobbing in a corner with Botan, Tea is still ranting on about friendship  
A/N- and so the chapter ends! Ta da, lovely aint it? Sorry we haven't  
updated for so long!  
Hiei's fiancée- Going Insane's mom took the laptop on a business trip with  
her and all of our stuff was saved on it!  
Going Insane- not my fault!  
Hiei's fiancée- Kurama and Hiei madly making out, haven't had that in a  
while  
Going Insane- yes, somehow we've resisted for a few chapters.   
And now, thanks to the few people who review us!  
estewart9- poor Emily who isn't going to be reading this for a while. We  
are sorry that you have been banned from fanfiction.net.  
Animegoddess177- congrats! You've just won a toaster oven for guessing who  
Koenma's fiancée was. Thank you sooooooo much for reviewing, it makes us  
feel special!   
Going Insane- just to point this out, special is just what they tell you  
before they take you off to the big padded rooms where you can be happy all  
the time   
Mr. Seto Kaiba's Secretary- thank you!!!!!!!! We love you!!! And depressing  
isn't bad, just so you know the only things we can write are parodies.   
(well Hiei's fiancée is another story)  
Revolutionize the World's End- thanks, we may try to kill Kuwabara again  
later!   
Sorry chapter was so short, but don't worry we will update again soon!  
Thank you to the people who reviewed us! remember flames are for  
marshemellows, not reviews! If must flame us, at least tell us why we suck,  
not just that we suck. Thank you! 


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